Anger : Pseudo Anger

Emotions are outcome's or the result of one's thought process.
If one does not have a thought process,one may never know the reason whay they fell happ or sad,angry or depressed.
Emotions would just randomly flow thoughout their lives with no purpose at all.
Today i felt anger and hatered.I felt the desire to inflict suffering,i felt the desire to take revenge.
But i knew the reason that lead to these emotions were not something external but within me.

I truly believe that it is wrong to be angry at anything that is external to me.
I can only be angry at myself,I am the source and resason of anger
but sometimes consioulsy on subconsciously this anger directed towards myself
begins to manifest and transform and appears that someone or something external is responsible for it.
So the anger that runs thorugh my mind is a pseudo anger created by the true anger hidden in deep corner of my mind.

All the times i have been angry at someone or something i have infact been angry at myself.
I and begening to see this more clearly.It took a long time for me to get here.
It had been evident all along.

I can see the source of my anger,but i have not learnt to supress or defeat the emotion.
I am still angry writing these words.
I do know why it has started,i know the reason of true anger
but i cannot identify the trigger that lead to creation of pseudo anger,i do not know the reason
why the pseodo anger was created.
And once again any unknown element of my mind is successful in tilting the balence of my mind.
I get angry thinking pseudo anger is cause of chaotic state of mind,i get more angry not knowing the reason of pseudo anger
And it makes me more angry that i can not control it and stop it.The more i think about it the more angry i get.
I am caught in a redudant cycle of "Pseudo Anger "that is consuming time,energy and me.

i ought to learn to expresss my anger,by i have lived such that i have no object or shape to direct my anger at.

The real anger is easy to Get over.It can be identified easily and
actions can be taken in that direction to make the anger vanish.
It the reason for the anger seems irrational and stupid,logic can de developed to negate the anger.
But how can you defeat and invisible,unknown force.

I have to let pseudo anger burn out and die,I have to endure the consequences,
Till i learn to control this element of my mind.