Moment of weakness is defined as the instant of time when we choose to adopt a course of action that is contradictory to our set of moral premises and absolve our selves from bearing the responsibility of our actions or the guilt of committing such an act.
moment of weakness supposedly grants us the window to be as shallow as we can be,or was shallow as we want of be without having to bear the guilt or the responsibility of the shallow thoughts and actions.Moment of weakness grants us the opportunity to become all that we despise and still permits us to enjoy it .
Moment of weakness allows us to drop our moral premise and behave purely on the basis of blank thought porcess and guided only by emotions.
Moment of weakness will grant us closure and we will be able to carry on with other activities of life.
So one should be able to recogize the time when it is our moment of weakness and behae accoring to the rules we have set for such an occasion.There are no Rules.
But how is one suppose to identify this right now is a moment of weakness we are enduring.

Is moment of weakness the time A instant of time when one feels helpless and unarmed against all their up against.
The above can happen because of two possible reasons.Either you have begun to deteriorate or all that you are up against has become stronger.
In such a case on can be caught off guard because of one's inability to estimate and analyze the situation at hand and our inability to analyze oneself.
And thus one has to face defeat in such a situation.
And we fell weakened and lost at such times,at times when we are defeated.
This is still and honorable and rightful defeat where one is penalized for ones inability and lacking of skill and talent.And one has every right to experience weakness.
It leads to moment of depression,moments of guilt,moments of self pity,moments of anger,moments of self punishment and often it is a mixture of all such moments.But these are all valid emotional responses to the situation.
But none of the emotional responses allows one to adopt a course of action that is contradictory to our set of moral premises .So none of the above emotional reponse constitute a moment of weakness
Hence the emotional reponse to the state of mind when when one feels helpless and unarmed against all their up against does not constitute moment of weakness.

Is moment of weakness a time when when we feel tired and exhausted and need a break
If one is leading their life or atleast attemting to lead a course of live according to our set of moral premise.
one would be happy that they are oursuing right cource of action.
It one feels tired and exhausted leading their lives and need a break
It only means they have lost the enjoyment one used to obtain from such a life,and thus the desire of leading this life vanishes.
Such an situation gives rise to emotions of nostalgia,depression,self pity .It should leave one blank and wandering and struggling in the middle of nowhere,
If we lack the ability to pursue a further cource of action it should leave us stranded at a standstill a stalemate position with our life.
And we begin to question in self pity that what is the purpose of our life,what is the point of it all,kowing the answer still seeking some kind of assurance or
affirmation of one's exitance thought some one else.Thus such a moment just grants us self pity.
But this still does not consititue a moment of weakness,It still does not justify our inability to fell guilt inspite of commiting actions violating our moral premise.

There are many such occasions when one fells that all is lost and there is no point going on.
But none of these justify any emotional reponse that grants one a moral blank cheque.
No matter what the situation it does not grant us to pursure course of action that is contradictory to our set of moral premises and absolve our selves from bearing the responsibility of our actions or the guilt of committing such an act.No situation grants a moral blank cheque to be as shallow as we can be.

So if there are no events that can justify the our so called moments of weakness .
It leads to only one conclusion that so called moment of weakness is false,
it is a illusion we have created for ourself and world around us.
We are dropping all the moral premise we hold willingly during the undefined moments called mpments of weakness and in order not to fell the guilt and bear the responsibility of our actions at such times we create a illusion and a rule stating that during moments of weakness we are allowed to err and not fell guilt for are mistake,so we grant our selves a moral blank cheque at such instants.

So whenever our moral premise fails we declare that it has failed because it was our moment of weakness.Since moment of weakness is only defined in such terms.
SO one will never have the need accept guilt or responsibility,whenever on feels guilty or when the time comes to accept responsibility
we pretend to hide under the false cloak on invisiblity ,
we put on a act for our self and the entire world and declare that is our moment of weakness.

So infact moments of weakness are loopholes we have discovered or rather choose to create in our moral premise.
Because of existance of such loopholes we can pretend to be morally right and whenever we feel like abdicate from our moral responsiblity.

Moral premise is absolute in nature,it should be valid at all time under all circumstance.
Our Virtues are the Qualities we have aquired by following our moral premise.

One canot claim to be a true patriot at times of peace and when there is war hide unde the buker when your county is getting destory.I shows that you were pretending to be a patriot.
similarily if one endorses the concept of moment of weakness ,one is just pretending to be morally right,all the Virtues one thinke he has aquired
on account of his moral premise are false,since moral premise one thinks one posesses is false.
It is not worng for an individual to possess a moral blank cheque,On may do so out of blindness,foolishness,arrogance etc

To pretend and justify one's moral premise and at the same time commit actions that contradict the very same moral premise is unjustified.
Moment of Weakness is unjustified .
A individual can be weak and wrong,but one cannot escape this reality by creating a illusion of Moment Of Weakness.

Anger : Pseudo Anger

Emotions are outcome's or the result of one's thought process.
If one does not have a thought process,one may never know the reason whay they fell happ or sad,angry or depressed.
Emotions would just randomly flow thoughout their lives with no purpose at all.
Today i felt anger and hatered.I felt the desire to inflict suffering,i felt the desire to take revenge.
But i knew the reason that lead to these emotions were not something external but within me.

I truly believe that it is wrong to be angry at anything that is external to me.
I can only be angry at myself,I am the source and resason of anger
but sometimes consioulsy on subconsciously this anger directed towards myself
begins to manifest and transform and appears that someone or something external is responsible for it.
So the anger that runs thorugh my mind is a pseudo anger created by the true anger hidden in deep corner of my mind.

All the times i have been angry at someone or something i have infact been angry at myself.
I and begening to see this more clearly.It took a long time for me to get here.
It had been evident all along.

I can see the source of my anger,but i have not learnt to supress or defeat the emotion.
I am still angry writing these words.
I do know why it has started,i know the reason of true anger
but i cannot identify the trigger that lead to creation of pseudo anger,i do not know the reason
why the pseodo anger was created.
And once again any unknown element of my mind is successful in tilting the balence of my mind.
I get angry thinking pseudo anger is cause of chaotic state of mind,i get more angry not knowing the reason of pseudo anger
And it makes me more angry that i can not control it and stop it.The more i think about it the more angry i get.
I am caught in a redudant cycle of "Pseudo Anger "that is consuming time,energy and me.

i ought to learn to expresss my anger,by i have lived such that i have no object or shape to direct my anger at.

The real anger is easy to Get over.It can be identified easily and
actions can be taken in that direction to make the anger vanish.
It the reason for the anger seems irrational and stupid,logic can de developed to negate the anger.
But how can you defeat and invisible,unknown force.

I have to let pseudo anger burn out and die,I have to endure the consequences,
Till i learn to control this element of my mind.

Silence . . .

I hear voices all around me
Voices filled with lies,hypocracy,hate,envy,false pride
lifeless words that have no meaning or purpose just created to fill the void,to fill the silence
Voices created because there is nothing else their creators are capable of
Or the voices were created becuse these were the only thing their creators were capable of.

I hear voices all around me
so many different voices shouting as if they are competing against each other
These voices never stop,never surrender,never die down
These voices have destroyed silence,nobody remembers what silence truly stood for.
And these voices have everyone under the illusion that this continuous,everlasting,random,unorganised symphony
of these voices is silence

These voices are so loud
I am unable to hear my own voice
I have to shout aloud,i have to compete with these voices
so that i can hear my own voice
So that i can hear myself

I hear voices all around me
I here voices that i no longer care about
These Voices that do not envoke any feeling in me
but i cannot forget these voices

I hear voices all around me
I am no longer going to listen to them
I will no longer compete with them,i will no longer add to them
I will travel to the place where this "human noise" will never reach me
i will travel to the place where i can hear my own voice clearly
A Place where i can hear silence
Pure,true undulterated silence ....

Clean Slate

Today is just about to end.
Tomorrow will be a new day
A day when i will start on a clean slate.

Everything i have done till now will be nullified
All my achievements and all my faliures .
I will draw from the previous experiance all that i can
All that will help me in my future endeavours
All that will help me to better my self.

only if I could start on a clean slate
it is such an easy thing to say
But hardly can be put into practice
I surely draw from my prevoius experiance and try to better mysekf
it is easy to even negate my achievements and start all over again

but to forget faliures i think is impossible.
we may recover from our faliures,we may reach beyond what we dreamed
But the day i failed will always be etched in my memory
It will keep haunting me,till i breakdown and die

I accept myself with all my faliures and faults
I have to overcome the faliures and eliminate my fault
This will not lead me to a place where i am profoundly happy
But surely bring peace to my mind
i know that i can never start on a clean slate or now
no longer wish to start on a clean slate any more . . .

EGO

Up unitl now i thought i knew what i was searching in life

I thought it was happiness,absolute true happiness

I believed with all my heart that i was searching for happiness
i did not know any means to achive this.

At times i was really happy but i couldn't find the reason why i was happy
i could not find a way to make it last forever
So i was sad the rest of the time was unhappy

My actions were not directed toward goal to be happy,
On days which i called a good day a productive day, it was not the feeling of hapiness that consumed me
It something else .may be something that was much more important to me than happiness

When i uttered these words everything fell into place
-----------------------
fullfillement of my "EGO".
-----------------------
Yes this was it.
I do the things i do,I believe in the ideas i believe in,I am what i am
Every thing i do,say or think is directed toward this fullfillment of my EGO
It didnt matter if i was truly happy,it only matters that my EGO be satisfied

It is actually a great big never ending cycle.
All things that i do,say or believe make up my EGO.
and Every thing i do,say or think is directed toward this fullfillment of my EGO
ie all thing things that satisfy my EGO derive their very sources from this EGO.
Whenever i used to say true to myself i never knew which is my true self
I know i am true to something ,i could never put a finger on what it is ...
It is my EGO,my great big gigantic EGO

i know my EGO will never be fullfilled,i know i will never be complete
I may never be happy or content or satisfied
But there is no better or more truthful way for me

I can never rest till my EGO is satisfied
I can never be at peace till the "IDEA of ME Comes True".
This is the fools hope that live's on in me ...

i will never change

Ocean's are rising
children are crying
Ships are flying
angel's are dying
But i will never change
but i will never change

children are growing
friends are drifting
lines are breaking
and path's are shifting
But i will never change
and i dont want to change

People are choking
ego's are breaking
saints are chating
and satan is laughig
But i will never change
but i will never change

World is changing
monsters are waking
memories are fading
and shows are ending
But i will never change
and i dont want to change

carry the weight of the world

We are all growing up....
Trying to find our identity....
Striving hard to achieve or dreams ...
Fullfilling the reponsibilities of our family...

Time is such a rare commodity in such times .
We have no time to breath peacefully.
We have no time to do the things we really want to do
We have no time to talk to our parents ,siblings and relatives.
We have no longer have time for our friends and loved ones

We are under the illusion that we are in a never ending race
and we blindly keep on running very very hard.
We think we are facing the greatest of hardhips anydody has ever faced
(may be social or physological hardships)
We think we are destined to change the course of the world by our actions.

We think "we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders"

We become self obsorbed and fail to see life from any other view than our own.
We do not find a minute to spare of other people.not a few minutes to spare from
our scheme to change the world.

Soon we loose touch with many of our friends.
Our loved ones get farther away from us.
We are unable to understand this behavour of people.
We wish that they should understand our situtation and compromise a bit
Then we beome angry at them for holding their ground.

no we begin to believe with even more conviction and some self pity that
"we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders"

Now we are left all alone........

Smoke

People start smoking for various reasons.

They start smoking as it delivers a heightened sense of feeling,they start smoking as they think it the a means to breaking away from rules and regulations imposed upon us.soon people get addicted to it.

But it is not the addiction that causes people to continue smoking.

Any rational person knows cirarate smoking is injurious to health.And saying injurios to health is a understatement.It is only justified to state that it causes "death".But this does not stop people from smoking.

Why do people smoke .....Why don't they quit ......

Smoking is a sign of weakness.
It is generally exhibited by people who are not sure of themselves.

These people are insecure and weak.They want to potray a strong image of themselves to the world around and to themselves.

They believe that by smoking they are making a statement.

They are trying to tell everyone that they are rebellious,independent people who won't follow the rules and regulations imposed by society.And do not care that others may think of them.

They are trying to show that they are strong and courageous and that they are not afraid to smoke,they are not afraid of death.

They believe smoking is an act which expresses thier freedom.

------------- written by a smoker ----------------------------