Everything is Lost

i have lost everything .
there is nothing left but a hollow existence .
all that i thought i was is lost .
my ego has lost,my mind has lost .every inch of me has lost
i failed to live upto my expectations .i was never even close.
i have lost and i have nowhere to go.it's too late in the day for me to change
too late to look back and life and search for a better way.
i come to see that life i led is a complete lie .
but i do know to lead an other kind of life
i have to life this hollow life to the end .

i had already lost before i even began .....

out there people are creating artificial life,means of teleportation
and i am unable to comprehend calculus,
i had a dream that one day i would invent something .....
something great.
the dream still lives on ,slowly fading away day by day.....soon the dream will be forgotten
and all hope lost
i will live in mediocrity and die in mediocrity
nothing in the world would have changed by the consequence on my existence
my will soon fade away after i die and it would be as if i have never lived
i have to live with this fact .live with the fact that i have lost .......
all my hope and aspirations ,dreams have lost and
that i am and will be nothing more than me.

False Ego

Whenever one encounter's failure,one need's to check one's premises
one needs to looks at why we failed.
It was oblivious lack of effort,lack of skill and lack of knowledge
we all know that .this is no surprise .
but we need to discover how it came to be .
how come we did not try hard enough even though we knew the skill required to achieve our dreams
was it because we were overconfident .
was it because we sailing on our yesterday's triumphs
was it because we though we were so good that we did not bother to try hard enough
was it because we thought we were so good that we though that it was not i who has failed but everyone else in the world
was it because we were blinded by our false ego,was it because we were blinded because of our own ego
the ego that we were proud off,the ego that was suppose to be true ..
we need to drive away our ego . keep our ego in chains
till we are capable of controlling it.
we can no longer afford false ego blind us.we can no longer afford to fall .....

25 Years

25 years of my life totally worthless.
How can i redeem myself .
how can i make up for the things i failed to do.
how can i make up for moments i could have enjoyed
how can i make up for moments i could have cried
How can make up moments i could i lived .
how do i make up for lost times.

this year was different from previous years
i remember it has been 4 years that i have been celebrating my birthday this way.
i all the previous years i remember being angry and carrying hate i my heart
i enjoyed myself but i was still angry at all the people ,my friends,my family etc
this year the i did hot have hate and anger in my heart
i enjoyed the entire day,i lived the entire day .
and i realized the key to my happiness is myself
but the key to anger and hate are other people in my life
so only rational conclusion seems to me is to attain detachment from everyone i know
i will be alone .i will be happy .i will be as i am now !!!!!

one minuscule accomplishment

I thought i would end ... but it did not
I will have to wait .... wait alone ..... i have to disillusion myself.
I must be free of myself . To be something better,to become someone better.
I thought i had changed in all these years,i thought i had grown .
But i realize it was all a lie , i was just pretending ,i was lying to myself and everyone around me.
And i have lived this life so long that it has become a part of me .
If i stop pretending ,i cannot even imaging what i would do ....
I will wait .... It seems so far away .....i can see no path to succeed
but what else can i do by try .I do not know what else to do
I have to wait,i have to try ....that all that i know to do .... what else can i do .....
Giving up this life ,choosing to become someone else does not seem like a option
i have accepted failure,i have accepted defeat,but accepting my limits does not seen like a option
i had come some way,from being a brainless drone to what i am today.i have to believe i can go further
If i accept my limits ,what will i do for the rest of my life ,
how would i be able to live the reset of my life
Only thing i have left that is pure is my ego .... I will have to let go of it ,if i accept my limits
I really love my Ego .....
i have to be someone better .A life to no accomplishments ... this is not the time i can let go .....
I have to try one muster atleast minuscule accomplishment .Then look further from there ....
I am not looking to become greater,i am not looking for grandeur .... i am looking for one minuscule accomplishment

Law of nature

Law of nature is to choose the path of existence which offer's the least resistance,
Every thing in nature from plants,animals,insects as well as elemental forces of nature like
electricity,gravity,magnetism,wind and water etc choose the path that offer the least resistance.
they are bound by the law's of nature to do so.
Humans are somewhat different,we are offered a choice to choose the path for our self.
One often makes various choices,and ends up choosing the path of maximum resistance
one struggles,fight's against law of nature and there is a infinitesimal chance that one succeeds.
unlike other elements of nature which do not possess the ability to learn and acquire knowledge
humans have been provided with a faculty to alter one's nature.
Hence one can choose to be anything
And more often than not one want's to become something other than what one presently is
or something other than what nature has chosen him to become.
Since choosing to become something else is going against nature ,one is bound to encounter
great struggle to overcome the laws of nature.
One count on allies to help one out in this ordeal.
One has to and must do this alone if he truly wishes to succeed
One cannot even be sure that he can defeat nature.
For some it may take second's and for some it may take a lifetime to overcome nature
But like all those who have tried know that if one encounters failure it is not because nature
cannot be defeated,it is only because one has not tried hard enough.
For all those who succeed understand or deserve to say that there is no such thing as law of nature
The journey,the path of struggle,the choice one made was all an illusion,a fragment of ones imagination.
In the end ,those who have succeeded deserve to say that this is what they were all alone

Do i really want to live

All the events going on in the world seem like random act's.

Instinctive reactions to some invisible stimulus .

A voice shouting in our head "Do we really want to live ?"

We are not sure and in our indecision we have succumbed to voices in our head accepted the futility of asking such a question .

We begin to talk to ourself .We tell ousrself Not searching for the answer to the questions in our head surely takes a toll on us ...Makes us a little crazy

But then again the answer is equally like to shatter us ,again wrapped in indesicion we are faced with choices which will leads to the

same place no matter what we choose,We realize that

if all the paths lead to the same place then choice is just a matter of illusion ,

If we are all destined to die,what difference does it make how we lead our lives ,if final destination is the same

Then life and our act of living this live is just a pretence .There is no purpose to life at all.

Sure if heaven existed ,god would have sent us to heaven considering all the good deeds we have done during our life time

But we know that heaven and hell do not exist and neither does God.We wish that god existed everything would be so simple.

Future would be so clear.But he does not .

So then again to fill in the void call life we need to create a illusion for ourself and everyone around us.

So we create a abstraction to justify our existence . And We call this abstraction "Purpose of life "

We never Define it,we never quantify it,we never establish it,we only whisper it deepest silent hall of our minds

We do not let anyone hear it not ever ourself .

And the Nature of the abstraction is irrelevant at this point and is saved for future discussion.

We all live with this pretence ,But we are never to speak of it.

As it always existed,there lies an abstration majority of people choose to adopt.

And if you find yourself in the majority ,You will begin to see the world a little bit differently ,

And you will hate and despise all the people who have choosen other abstrations and vice versa .

Because of differences in these people they are capable of seeing the other people truly are

an with this knowledge we begin to see what we truly are also.

Most of the human race realises this so we never try to recognize anybody who is different .

They only way to know that two people are different is for them to have seperate identities .,for them to have

distinct individual traits.

Hence to shield our selves from knowing the truth all we have to do is never possess any individuality ,

It's really simple,

All we have to do is always agree with what other people

And only share a opinion which eveyone will agree .Never possess a opinion different from others.

Possess and learn the same ideas,Like the same songs,read the same book

Follow and adopt each others abstrations ,Life will turn into a wondeful journey

a false journey but nontheless a wonderful journey

We will all be the same

We will all be different

It really does not matter

We all have to live

We are all doomed to die ..........

I have still not answered the question in my head

Do we really want to live ?

May be i will save it for another day .....