one minuscule accomplishment

I thought i would end ... but it did not
I will have to wait .... wait alone ..... i have to disillusion myself.
I must be free of myself . To be something better,to become someone better.
I thought i had changed in all these years,i thought i had grown .
But i realize it was all a lie , i was just pretending ,i was lying to myself and everyone around me.
And i have lived this life so long that it has become a part of me .
If i stop pretending ,i cannot even imaging what i would do ....
I will wait .... It seems so far away .....i can see no path to succeed
but what else can i do by try .I do not know what else to do
I have to wait,i have to try ....that all that i know to do .... what else can i do .....
Giving up this life ,choosing to become someone else does not seem like a option
i have accepted failure,i have accepted defeat,but accepting my limits does not seen like a option
i had come some way,from being a brainless drone to what i am today.i have to believe i can go further
If i accept my limits ,what will i do for the rest of my life ,
how would i be able to live the reset of my life
Only thing i have left that is pure is my ego .... I will have to let go of it ,if i accept my limits
I really love my Ego .....
i have to be someone better .A life to no accomplishments ... this is not the time i can let go .....
I have to try one muster atleast minuscule accomplishment .Then look further from there ....
I am not looking to become greater,i am not looking for grandeur .... i am looking for one minuscule accomplishment